On This Eve...

As 2009 draws to a close in a matter of hours, the thoughts and memories of the last 12 months are flooding in, soaking me with a plethora of emotions. Perhaps this will open a larger window into my soul than is safe, but hopefully the benefits to the reader will outweigh any risk.

The year spanned new continents, churches, friends, struggles, joys, despair, and peace. It saw chapters open, others close, some that should end continue, and others long-continued end. As if to emphasize how the years fly by, even a foundation of the web (Geocities) on which old-school friends and I cut our technological teeth was shut down.

In January, the economy dealt its first blow to my company as I watched nearly forty coworkers laid off, including a dear friend. Two days later, I was on a plane to India with a team of completely unfamiliar people going to take the Gospel to the Bishnupriya Manipuri people of Assam. Twenty-four hours each direction led me across much more than a dozen time zones. It opened my eyes to the Lord's work among tribes, tongues, peoples, and nations who are more than just statistics or missionary targets. They are souls and families in darkness to whom the Light was sent that it might shine and illuminate hearts for the glory of God.

The rest of the spring is somewhat obscure, save for the second fiscal toll in April and the ten percent reduction in salary that came to those of us who survived the first onslaught. Talk about a morale hit... At the same time, the Lord provided for my friends who were hit by the January cuts and brought their first baby into the world. The new reality of more work for less pay marked my first serious consideration of changing companies since I first signed on three years prior. In August, my degree (MBA) would be complete and the options would be open to anything in the country (or even beyond). Nothing would bind me to Dallas...or so I thought.

June saw my coworker and close friend marry and take what seemed like the entire summer off (just kidding, Brent; I missed you :). It was a beautiful wedding -- I hope to someday imitate its simplicity and emphasis on Christ. The last week of June also signified my first week at Watermark and Todd's last week on the Way of Escape series.

Though I can't remember many details from July, I'm pretty sure it was the most pivotal month of the year in many ways (save, perhaps, for India in January). First, after my second week at The Porch, I started serving on Team Next Steps, which involved stepping WAY outside my comfort zone in order to connect with people and try to make others feel welcomed (normally I'm the welcome-ee, not the welcome-er). It has been stretching, to say the least, but good as well.

Second, through random parties and gatherings, I ended up meeting a ton of new people and almost felt as if I had rolled back to college days. "Koinonia" is the greek word for "fellowship" and was the trademark of several new friends with whom I first felt at home amidst so many blossoming social circles. The Lord truly blessed.

Third, a chapter far-too-long open finally closed. On July 30th, I submitted the final exam of the final class of my MBA. In August 2003, it began. And after several mutations in the years between, on the eve of August 2009, it concluded. Praise God!

August built upon July and effectively put a stake in the heart of that countdown from April that said I would be unbound to Dallas come August. Heh, if anything, I was more tied to Dallas than ever before, and my inability to extract would only deepen over the next thirty days. The calendar also held two weeks of Connecting Point (the membership class at Watermark), which introduced me to more new people and one particularly who continues to enrich me as a Proverbs 18:24 brother.

September. Ah, September...ye who bear my birthday and with it, inevitable (R)elationship ending. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, that's at the end of the month, and much came before. Launch Retreat kicked things off, which was an incredibly good (and exhausting) time. I was so blessed to meet and get to know my Launch group co-leader and our groupies (I'd say that's a fitting name for us, since it was Woodstock-themed :). I love you guys and am so glad to see you as often as our paths intersect.

Beginning at Launch and continuing to GroupLink, my community group came together with quite a variety of guys from whom I learned much, even in the first weeks before life carried some on to other things. Those guys know I definitely was stressed at points as we figured out the logistics, but they proved to be exceptional men of honor and encouragement who lifted me up as we worked through things and came to where we are today.

Okay, the obligatory Relationship ending :). You see, my birthday is cursed with regards to dating Relationships (with a capital 'R'). It definitely goes back as far as 2004 and essentially means that if some form of romantic interest or date comes within a week of my birthday, it will inexplicably fail. The decision or cause may vary, but its fate is the same. This year was actually one of the best outcomes as it simply entailed a great day/date and reverted to a friendship a week later. We're still friends now and I'm blessed by that. Still, the date and turn encircled my birthday, so the tradition stands :).

September also signified my transition into leading Team Next Steps at The Porch. These are some great people to lead and they never fail to spur each other and me on as we see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25).

October...Summit, community group, Starting Blocks, Porch, mission trip interview...the beginning of overload. So many good things, but the lesson that I'm slow to learn is that I am finite and so is the time in each day.

November. What stands out to me today as I reminisce is the effective squelching of some dear friendships. I wasn't as wise as I should have been, but rumors and gossip of things completely untrue forced a friend who I treasure and I to avoid hanging out since doing so would have fueled the fire further. "See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!" (James 3:5-6) It also had the collateral damage of missing other friends who were often around when we would hang out. It seems like an eternity since I truly talked with y'all, and it breaks my heart that the holidays have come and gone without being able to spend any of it with you.

And here we are, in December, with 8 hours and 57 minutes remaining. This has definitely been a full month. It dawned with Amazon (Brazil) support letters going out to partners in the Faith who are making it possible to take the Gospel to villages along the Amazon River next May (2010). More Christmas parties than I think I've ever attended peppered the weekends, including the fantabulous Texas Country Christmas Party. I learned how to two-step and had so much fun with friends that evening. Christmas itself was a joyful occasion with my family and the snow with which the Lord graced us (for the first time in somewhere between "25 years" and "ever"). A lot of Christmases have come and gone, but this has to have been one of the best. I love you guys.

The lessons from this year are innumerable, but my current read best encapsulates all of them -- "Living by Faith in Future Grace" (John Piper). More days than not, I haven't lived by faith, but the Lord has been patient to show me over and over again that faith in His future provision, His goodness, His greatness, His all-sufficiency, and His love is the secret of living a life for His glory.

I'm sure that I left out memories and stories that bear my appreciation and love for many of you, but know that you mean the world to me just the same. To the leadership who have shepherded me this year, thank you. Your lives, words, and care have been cups of refreshing water to a parched and weary soul. "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)

In all that has been said, all of the glory is the Lord's, and all of the failures are mine as I strive to attain to Christlikeness. One day the goal will be reached, but we are not home yet.

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)