On This Eve...

As 2009 draws to a close in a matter of hours, the thoughts and memories of the last 12 months are flooding in, soaking me with a plethora of emotions. Perhaps this will open a larger window into my soul than is safe, but hopefully the benefits to the reader will outweigh any risk.

The year spanned new continents, churches, friends, struggles, joys, despair, and peace. It saw chapters open, others close, some that should end continue, and others long-continued end. As if to emphasize how the years fly by, even a foundation of the web (Geocities) on which old-school friends and I cut our technological teeth was shut down.

In January, the economy dealt its first blow to my company as I watched nearly forty coworkers laid off, including a dear friend. Two days later, I was on a plane to India with a team of completely unfamiliar people going to take the Gospel to the Bishnupriya Manipuri people of Assam. Twenty-four hours each direction led me across much more than a dozen time zones. It opened my eyes to the Lord's work among tribes, tongues, peoples, and nations who are more than just statistics or missionary targets. They are souls and families in darkness to whom the Light was sent that it might shine and illuminate hearts for the glory of God.

The rest of the spring is somewhat obscure, save for the second fiscal toll in April and the ten percent reduction in salary that came to those of us who survived the first onslaught. Talk about a morale hit... At the same time, the Lord provided for my friends who were hit by the January cuts and brought their first baby into the world. The new reality of more work for less pay marked my first serious consideration of changing companies since I first signed on three years prior. In August, my degree (MBA) would be complete and the options would be open to anything in the country (or even beyond). Nothing would bind me to Dallas...or so I thought.

June saw my coworker and close friend marry and take what seemed like the entire summer off (just kidding, Brent; I missed you :). It was a beautiful wedding -- I hope to someday imitate its simplicity and emphasis on Christ. The last week of June also signified my first week at Watermark and Todd's last week on the Way of Escape series.

Though I can't remember many details from July, I'm pretty sure it was the most pivotal month of the year in many ways (save, perhaps, for India in January). First, after my second week at The Porch, I started serving on Team Next Steps, which involved stepping WAY outside my comfort zone in order to connect with people and try to make others feel welcomed (normally I'm the welcome-ee, not the welcome-er). It has been stretching, to say the least, but good as well.

Second, through random parties and gatherings, I ended up meeting a ton of new people and almost felt as if I had rolled back to college days. "Koinonia" is the greek word for "fellowship" and was the trademark of several new friends with whom I first felt at home amidst so many blossoming social circles. The Lord truly blessed.

Third, a chapter far-too-long open finally closed. On July 30th, I submitted the final exam of the final class of my MBA. In August 2003, it began. And after several mutations in the years between, on the eve of August 2009, it concluded. Praise God!

August built upon July and effectively put a stake in the heart of that countdown from April that said I would be unbound to Dallas come August. Heh, if anything, I was more tied to Dallas than ever before, and my inability to extract would only deepen over the next thirty days. The calendar also held two weeks of Connecting Point (the membership class at Watermark), which introduced me to more new people and one particularly who continues to enrich me as a Proverbs 18:24 brother.

September. Ah, September...ye who bear my birthday and with it, inevitable (R)elationship ending. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, that's at the end of the month, and much came before. Launch Retreat kicked things off, which was an incredibly good (and exhausting) time. I was so blessed to meet and get to know my Launch group co-leader and our groupies (I'd say that's a fitting name for us, since it was Woodstock-themed :). I love you guys and am so glad to see you as often as our paths intersect.

Beginning at Launch and continuing to GroupLink, my community group came together with quite a variety of guys from whom I learned much, even in the first weeks before life carried some on to other things. Those guys know I definitely was stressed at points as we figured out the logistics, but they proved to be exceptional men of honor and encouragement who lifted me up as we worked through things and came to where we are today.

Okay, the obligatory Relationship ending :). You see, my birthday is cursed with regards to dating Relationships (with a capital 'R'). It definitely goes back as far as 2004 and essentially means that if some form of romantic interest or date comes within a week of my birthday, it will inexplicably fail. The decision or cause may vary, but its fate is the same. This year was actually one of the best outcomes as it simply entailed a great day/date and reverted to a friendship a week later. We're still friends now and I'm blessed by that. Still, the date and turn encircled my birthday, so the tradition stands :).

September also signified my transition into leading Team Next Steps at The Porch. These are some great people to lead and they never fail to spur each other and me on as we see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25).

October...Summit, community group, Starting Blocks, Porch, mission trip interview...the beginning of overload. So many good things, but the lesson that I'm slow to learn is that I am finite and so is the time in each day.

November. What stands out to me today as I reminisce is the effective squelching of some dear friendships. I wasn't as wise as I should have been, but rumors and gossip of things completely untrue forced a friend who I treasure and I to avoid hanging out since doing so would have fueled the fire further. "See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!" (James 3:5-6) It also had the collateral damage of missing other friends who were often around when we would hang out. It seems like an eternity since I truly talked with y'all, and it breaks my heart that the holidays have come and gone without being able to spend any of it with you.

And here we are, in December, with 8 hours and 57 minutes remaining. This has definitely been a full month. It dawned with Amazon (Brazil) support letters going out to partners in the Faith who are making it possible to take the Gospel to villages along the Amazon River next May (2010). More Christmas parties than I think I've ever attended peppered the weekends, including the fantabulous Texas Country Christmas Party. I learned how to two-step and had so much fun with friends that evening. Christmas itself was a joyful occasion with my family and the snow with which the Lord graced us (for the first time in somewhere between "25 years" and "ever"). A lot of Christmases have come and gone, but this has to have been one of the best. I love you guys.

The lessons from this year are innumerable, but my current read best encapsulates all of them -- "Living by Faith in Future Grace" (John Piper). More days than not, I haven't lived by faith, but the Lord has been patient to show me over and over again that faith in His future provision, His goodness, His greatness, His all-sufficiency, and His love is the secret of living a life for His glory.

I'm sure that I left out memories and stories that bear my appreciation and love for many of you, but know that you mean the world to me just the same. To the leadership who have shepherded me this year, thank you. Your lives, words, and care have been cups of refreshing water to a parched and weary soul. "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace." (Numbers 6:24-26)

In all that has been said, all of the glory is the Lord's, and all of the failures are mine as I strive to attain to Christlikeness. One day the goal will be reached, but we are not home yet.

"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen." (Jude 24-25)

Hope for the Holidays

After the service at Watermark on Sunday (12/20/2009), I gained a new perspective on and appreciation for Christmas. If you are like me and grew up in the church or even like most Americans and grew up around Christmas, you’ve seen the manger scenes, watched the Charlie Brown Christmas, and probably read Luke 2. All of these are great, but as the adage goes, “familiarity breeds contempt”. Maybe you don’t hold contempt for Christmas, but compared to the awe it deserves, we might as well. Think about it: the God who is worth of “glory, majesty, dominion, and authority before all time, and now, and forever” broke into that time He created and changed everything! (Jude 25)

But what cast a new light on Christmas was the redirection to consider the 2nd Christmas. Now, you might ask, “2nd Christmas?!? What’s that?” Well, the 1st Christmas was when Jesus came to earth as the savior and suffering servant (Isaiah 9:6; 53:1-12), and the 2nd is when He comes again as conquering king with a never-ending reign (Isaiah 9:7). If we learned as children to look forward to December 25th with the eager anticipation of presents, can we not learn as adults to yearn for the 2nd Christmas when Jesus returns, peace prevails, death ceases, and joy abounds? (Isaiah 65:17-25; Revelation 21:1-7)

I hope you can take joy in that future expectation of Christmas, even if your Christmases now carry stress or heartache with them. Some of you will be with “normal” families, perhaps so picturesque as to have snow and white picket fences. If so, praise God. Others (myself included) will manage the juggling act of time with split families. It isn’t simple, but there’s still joy to be found. And still others of you may not have family at all, but you do have the body of Christ. I pray that you find fellowship there beyond anything that a biological link can offer.

A few “stocking stuffers” to take with you this Christmas:

1. Set out to be a blessing. In each day and situation, whether with friends, family or strangers, focus on how you can bless those around you. It has surprised me how much pressure it takes off my shoulders and how fulfilling it can be when I make much of others rather than focusing on myself.
2. “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt…” (Col. 4:6a). Read and apply Ephesians 4:29 and whether in tense or joyous moments, seek to speak only what is edifying, gracious, and necessary.
3. Stand in awe. Infinite God came to earth, entered time, changed everything—all to save us.
   

If you get a chance, listen to the song, “Born to Die” by Bebo Norman. You can find it on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV3mkvutn4c).

Original source:
http://www.veritasroad.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=73&Itemid=28

juliethecooli

The following words are from a girl by the name of Julie who has faithfully posted about her life, trials, and things the Lord teaches her for several years now on Xanga. I felt this one was particularly good as a heart cry I want to embrace as my own.

juliethecooli (12/13/2009):

Today I attended a funeral. I understand bits and pieces of the service since it was mostly in Mandarin. It struck me as pictures flash across the screen, that was it... she was once living and now she's gone. I didn't even know her but looking at her young self in old pictures and see her gradually age and then seeing her grieving family and hearing their eulogies about memories of her... it overwhelmed me with emotions. I kept on thinking, this is life... this is life...

It's interesting how the concept of death is universal. I didn't have to understand a single word like Nancy and still understand the sadness that death brings and sympathize because that's the fate that we and our loved ones will all have.

And the reason why death is universal is because sin is universal. O soul, look upon the destructive consequence of sin. Can you keep on sinning like you do...as though there is no price to pay? And to think that this earthly death is only a small glimpse of eternal damnation. And then my wretched soul, look upon the brutal cross and see the sacrifice the perfect Christ paid to so you wouldn't have to suffer forever in Hell... look upon the cross where your bleeding Savior died, alone and hated and tormented for you!

O my soul, fall at the feet of Jesus and see just how short this life is, and see how this life is too short to be consumed by worldly passions and indulgence, and see that your Savior died a horrific death and raised from the dead on the 3rd day not for you to waste your life but to live it....without bondage to sin but in freedom in Him.

Until the whole world hears, Lord, we are crying out...
(Casting Crowns)

Unplanted Seeds

This is less of a blog entry and more of a little shelf, holding seeds of thought yet to be planted. I'll probably update this as days pass and more seeds are discovered. Feel free to comment on any.

• Letters to the Martyrs: Essays in this series would be composed as letters to the martyrs of the faith, thanking them for their sacrifice and taking note of the specific attributes exemplified in their lives and final moments. Examples would range from ancients like Stephen (in Acts) to contemporaries like Cassie Bernall. #11.27.2009
  
• The Oracle of Support Raising: In the book of Nahum, the word "oracle" is used to speak of the message to Nineveh, but the actual Hebrew word means "burden". The Oracle of Support Raising addresses the burden that comes with a mission or ministry founded on distributed support. Each person that contributes and enables the work is a stakeholder in it. As such, the oracle of the minister is both the message and work he/she carries as well as the responsibility he/she has to remain pure, steadfast, and devoted to the Lord, because more than just his/her time and resources are depending on it. #12.07.2009
  

Came To The Rescue

The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer. Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. ~1 Peter 4:7-8

The blog title came from the song that was playing on Pandora when I started writing, and it is perfectly fitting. God came to the rescue this week. First, He brought me out of illness over the weekend and gave me a glorious Monday, which seemed unnatural in its peace and joy. Then Tuesday came. "Days Like These" is a reflection on those 24 hours of tumultuous work and embattled flesh through which the Lord proved faithful and left me not to despair. The next day, Thursday, heaven met earth "like an unforeseen kiss" and I was overwhelmed with the grace of God through the advice and time of friends. Today has been uneventful and probably a continued blessing because of it.

In 1st Peter this morning, the top passage stood out. The reason why we are to be separate from and finished with "the desire of the Gentiles" (v. 3) and to be sound in judgment and sober in spirit is for prayer. I guess I would have thought we should pray to be sound/sober, but not the opposite, which is what Peter said. And he's building up -- don't lust/carouse/get drunk, instead be like this (sober/sound) so you can pray. THEN, the pinnacle: "keep fervent in your love for one another" (v. 8). And actually, our love needs to be strong so it can help us forgive our brothers/sisters when we inevitably sin against each other. So, before you can fervently love like this, you need to pray? Interesting...

Thoughts from this week: 1) Enjoy each day of peace, but don't grow complacent, because storms will come. 2) In the storm, don't try to do it on your own--lean on God's strength--and remember His blessings with thankfulness. 3) Turn from sin; then pray, love & forgive. 4) The end is near; make use of every moment.

Days Like These

As the issue became clear late yesterday afternoon and it grew apparent that my evening was unlikely to go as I had wanted and expected, my natural reaction was to assign fault, grow frustrated, and get stressed. I wish I could say that by the power of the Spirit I overcame (Rom. 8:37) and lived out a godly attitude in the midst of trial, but that would be a lie and an insult to injury.

By God's grace, I did recover from such innate reactions more quickly than usual, being reminded of His goodness and many blessings. Even so, this battle continued as the night toiled on, wounds notwithstanding, with the words from a Bob Carlisle song ringing true: The saints are just the sinners who fall down and get up.

Another song which was playing after The Porch also ministered greatly to me in the early morning hours around 1am. I have included it at the bottom, courtesy of the David Crowder Band.

The graphic in the upper right has been my digital companion since yesterday and is the metric for my failure or success in this issue with DFS-R (Distributed File System Replication). To borrow from Switchfoot, thank You, Lord, for putting motion inside our souls and in this Task Manager graphic.

So, after and in the middle of days like these... I am thankful, Lord, that I have not had such a day for many months now. Forgive me for not being more grateful prior to Your reminder. I am thankful that I have a job--at all--and one which has not counted technical problems like these against me. I am thankful for worship, The Porch, JP and Your truth which he presents, and the encouragement of dear friends and companions who mean more to me than they know. Father, I am thankful that You forgive us when we try to rely on our own strength and seek our own relief and fall as a result. Thank You for Your love and how great it is. Thank You.

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

// David Crowder Band: How He Loves Us

Mixture of Thought

This day has been filled with an array of ideas, and it has left me contemplative, to put it mildly. After network maintenance at the office concluded around 12:40am this morning, I was left to rest until the sun or my mind should awake me. The choice was then before me as to whether I should take the hours to rest from a weekend of illness and a late night of work or return to my desk 'round noontime and wrap up the weekend's proceedings. I opted for the second as the former seemed unnatural and wasted.

And so a rather traditional, yet oddly ambient afternoon ensued, beginning with a lunch at Pei Wei with my coworker. A rather unexceptional set of tasks--updates, change management, testing--carried me to the closing bell, and to the car I went. With the sun setting, I navigated south to a Barnes & Noble cafe and a friend who makes it home-like to many. Bible study commenced and then segued quickly to a writing piece, at the prompting of both an exchange with a friend and the subject matter of the study--prayer.

I was twice sincerely frightened at dramatic crescendos in the soundtracks of The Village and The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring as I pored over the material and wrote. And as time passed, words and excitement came over this patchwork metaphor of the Christian life as a canvas and painting. I know not whether the discourse maturely came forth; only the readership can tell. Regardless, though, it brought my time there to a close and off I went.

As I turned north, I thought to myself, "What a peculiar day! What is it that has made it seem so unlike a Monday?" Perhaps it is the Monday that should always be; one unstressed by a chaotic world, one which begins with the Word and prayer and which ends with a study of prayer and an expansion on the Word.

Finally, the evening concluded with takeout (Panda Express) and an episode of NCIS (online). Strangely enough, this served as the final ingredient in the mixture of thought as an undertone of destiny and choice weaved through the show. It presented a proposition: "Destiny cannot be changed, but it can be challenged." I'll not debate the veracity of the statement, but the story surrounding it was one which did provoke me to reflection. Regardless of how many years, trials, and circumstances led you to be who you now are, you still have the choice to change.

Ingredients of a day like today (how you combine them and in what proportions affects the final product): sleep, prayer, Scripture, choices, work, study, driving, writing, tea (Holiday Tea, in this case), music, Chinese food, TV (NCIS), and friends.

Referenced essay: Canvas of the Creator (Veritas Road)

#RN09: Thurs Connecting Seminar

RightNow 2009: Leadership Matters

Heather Zempel - "Developing Character While Growing Spiritually"
(National Community Church, Discipleship Pastor)

• Leadership is a stewardship issue
  
  • We have to lead ourselves first and well ("Imitate me as I imitate Christ")
  • We don't have to know all the answers or have it all together

1. Set goals in our own spiritual growth
   
   • Before we can make disciples, we have to be disciples
   • Acts 2:42-47
     
     • In prayer and awe of the Spirit's work
     • Seeking after God through spiritual disciplines
     • Using our spiritual gifts
     • Being devoted to the Apostles' teaching -- serving God with our minds/intellects
     • Enjoying the favor the people (later hated)
       
       • The early church was either loved or hated -- never ignored
       • One-anothers of Scripture -- serving God relationally
     • Financial/stewardship -- sold/shared resources
       
   • Set achievable goals, but also ones that require faith
   • Set measurable goals (not just "more", "less", etc)
   • Make the goals time-related -- set a trial period to do it
     
     • Look back after the period and decide whether to keep it up or discontinue it (seasonal change)
     • Routines are good, but when it becomes routine, change it up
       
     
     
2. Lean into our strengths
   
   • Develop your strengths and work around your weaknesses (skill/gift weaknesses, not moral weaknesses -- those can disqualify from leadership)
   
   
3. Identify areas in which we want to grow
   
   • i.e. communication
   • List the areas, then set goals to grow
   
   
4. Read
   
   • Leaders are learners
   • It often takes two years for a book to be written; if you read five books a year, you are getting the equivalent of 10 years of people's work and knowledge
   • Read in the areas where you want to grow
   
   
5. Spend time with others who do well what you want to do
   
   • Get involved in what they are doing ("trick" them into mentoring you, rather than asking formally)
     
     • Talk to them about what they are learning
       
   • Add value to the people you want to hang out with (help them in what they are doing)
   
   
6. Write down what you are learning -- journal
   
   • Journal to process and recognize what you are learning
   • Journal because you will see more because you are looking more closely (in Scripture and life)
   • Journal because it helps you see God's fingerprints more often
   • Review the books you are reading
   • Make notes of the conversations you have
   
   
7. Put yourself in leadership situations that stretch you
   
   • We want to see a miracle, but we don't want to put ourselves in situations that need miracles (i.e. mission trips, evangelism, etc)
     
   • Example: if your small group is based in a neighborhood, figure out how to love them, then do it
   
   
8. Always have an apprentice leader (2 Tim 2:2)
   
   • Never do ministry alone; pass the baton
   • See down the generations of the discipleship chain -- i.e. your apprentice's disciples' disciples...
   • We are a link in the chain of the body of Christ and we cannot break it
   • Turn every opportunity into a discipleship opportunity
   
   
9. Create accountability environments for yourself
   
   • Who knows you at an uncomfortable level and can ask anything?
   • We will be defined by the people around us
   • Those people need to be people who love us but love Jesus more than our friendship -- who want us to be more like Christ more than anything else
   • People who are "editors" -- point out and correct the wrong and find good things to make better
   
   
10. Take care of your personal life
    
    • Family first (before ministry)
    • Finances
    • Health
      
      • Don't define leadership quality by hours put in
      • Great leaders know what is important
      • Trust God with 6 days to accomplish that of 7 days (concept of "sabbath rest")
        

#RN09: Thurs Main Session

The notes below and in other #RN09-tagged posts are my primary takeaways from each speaker's session. Many more things were said than transferred from ink to paper to blog, but these are the points that have left me burdened to not merely be a hearer but also a doer of the Word and of those who provide wise counsel based thereon. Enjoy...

RightNow 2009: Leadership Matters

Tim Ross (The Potter's House, Young Adults Pastor)

• Philippians 3:17-19, "follow me", "imitate me" -- Are we worth following?
• We don't judge the heart, but we are "fruit inspectors" -- If you smell like an orange, look like an orange, and taste like an orange...you're an orange!
• We need HOT leaders; people characterized by:
  
  • Honesty
  • Openness
  • Transparency
• This (our) generation is grown on openness, so the only thing truly shocking is when we try to hide our problems and feign strength
• We need to be real, so we can avoid having/creating/becoming fake, burned out, used up, and fallen leaders

Alan Danielson (formerly over small groups at LifeChurch.tv)

• Small groups need to become outwardly focused (in addition to inwardly growing)
• "Ecosystem" -- when you enter one, you change/disrupt it
  
  • Is the change you are having (i.e. in the neighborhood where your small group meets) positive?
  • "Neutral is negative" -- if you aren't having a positive impact, it's negative
  • Benefit your neighborhood -- talk about things inside and go do something about it outside
  • "Positive is positive" -- What's at stake?
    
    • Christ's reputation is at stake (Matt 5:16)
    • Our obedience is at stake (Matt 28:18-20) -- the great commission is repeated five times in the NT
    • Eternity is at stake (Heb 9:27) -- judgment is final -- we will study, learn, and worship forever in heaven, but we only have now to lead people to Christ
    • Our own spiritual formation is at stake (Phil 2:5-11)
    • "Hell is real" -- get off the couch
      

LOL...LTNS...

Heh, it's been a long-time-no-see with this blog. Last blast said I was going back to Xanga. I guess that lasted for a monthish, and some good posts came out of it as I prepped to go to India, but then my pen went quiet. Oh well, maybe I'll get blogging again sometime soon.

We'll see :)...

The Goodness of God

I don't have anything magnificent to say today, but I must make known the goodness of God, even in the small things of life. The day has been long and work was trying as it drew past 5 and ebbed towards 6. Then awaiting at home, a project lay with hours in tow. I had resigned to take-out at my favorite Chinese food restaurant, Panda Express, once I completed a portion of the project. The time came, and away I went. The Lord has already blessed me with the kindness of the staff at Panda whom I have come to after frequenting it, at times, daily. Not only did Lina, the manager, load on the equivalent of an extra entree, but she also filled the third entree to overflowing such that she had to get a larger container to hold it (rather than taking some away).

The day is beautiful and all one needs to praise our loving God. But then He feeds us with plenty, providing for our needs and nursing our insufficiencies, even when they are none but ours to own.

Praise be to God Most High!